You Know Your Ghetto If?

These concepts are socially constructed and have been given much weight. What are your thoughts?
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JR
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Re: You Know Your Ghetto If?

Unread post by JR » January 8th, 2005, 6:53 am

LMFAO man yall sum funny peepz

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Re: You Know Your Ghetto If?

Unread post by paperinacup » January 9th, 2005, 12:26 am

LOL This stuff is crazy.

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Re: You Know Your Ghetto If?

Unread post by paperinacup » January 9th, 2005, 12:31 am

Your refridgerator is full but there aint a damn thing to eat.

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Re: You Know Your Ghetto If?

Unread post by Mraka » January 11th, 2005, 12:52 pm

The clothes you wear you wore at High-School.
In movies you identify with the suffering...
The elektronik equipment got no guarantees or bills for.
If your pal is doing the hair of all your friends.
If your friend buys a gas cylinder at a Gasstation while regular opening hours.
Your parents dress you up for a special event,and the other kids are in Jeans outfit and sneakers on.
On a photo where you are 3 years old ,your clothes and your mouth are dirty.
When in the kindergarden,you were the only one who forgott to tell his parents ,that the photografer is comming.
Grandmother is talking to you about the silly neighbours,and talking with them for hours in the kitchen.
The teacher pulls you aside after sports ,because you spat out your bronchitis,he assumes smoking, and tells you he would probably have to call your parents.And you are in 8th grade.
A bus driver of your ethnic is closing the door in front of your face,and he is driving away.
You see him again.And again......
The ordinary,says to you that you are O.K.,but the others of your minority are a hord of dumb.....silly criminal....,...
The teachers have a special program for your class,because of the complicated conditions.
They are right.
The next park is 5 minutes away,around your hood 5-10 playgrounds,but the twens remain everyone they live in a Ghetto.
One friend of your father never made legal money.
Your mum and granny have a battle for ,who makes better cake.You sit back and enjoy.There is a cake everyday since ya granny is around.

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Re: You Know Your Ghetto If?

Unread post by MICK » January 18th, 2005, 1:27 pm

In the winter, you just wear your pops old boxing gloves outside.

If you think that diversifying your money means buying different brands of jackpot scratchoff tickets.

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Re: You Know Your Ghetto If?

Unread post by Mraka » January 19th, 2005, 4:38 am

Though you can not cook,you create new recepies of what is left in the kitchen.
The club you use to go,sometimes lets you in,sometimes doesn`t.
The surrounding of a youth-club is an arms deposit.

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Re: You Know Your Ghetto If?

Unread post by Baby-Girl16 » January 25th, 2005, 2:55 pm

IF U EVER USED A SHOE TO HAMMER IN A NAIL

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Re: You Know Your Ghetto If?

Unread post by Common Sense » January 26th, 2005, 3:01 pm

If you ever brought yo baby's toy's to the pawn shop.

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Re: You Know Your Ghetto If?

Unread post by Common Sense » January 26th, 2005, 3:04 pm

If your grandma knows how to C-walk.

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Re: You Know Your Ghetto If?

Unread post by Cold Bear » January 26th, 2005, 3:25 pm

If you use your house shoes to kill roaches.

If you stack TV’s.

If your Grandmother claims.

If your grandmother has tried to fight a bum.

If you drunk at the Laundromat before noon

If you open a window at your homies house, and his moms tells you to shut it - he’s about to hotbox.

If you’re outside your building, drinking liquor out a Styrofoam cup with a straw.

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Re: You Know Your Ghetto If?

Unread post by Common Sense » January 26th, 2005, 3:50 pm

If you eat syrup sandwiches, you're ghetto.

If you fry bologna, you're ghetto. (I love fried boloni...LOL)

If you have sex doggie-style so you don't mess up your hair, you're ghetto.

If your house is furnished because of a riot,you're ghetto.

If you and your spouse won't get married because it would fu-- with yo county check, you're ghetto.

If you use your front porch as storage space

If you lick the plate when you finish eating, you're ghetto.

If you approach females with: "Say, boo...what yo' name is?" you're ghetto.(and ignorant)

If you throw your old mattress out on the corner...your definitely ghetto.

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Re: You Know Your Ghetto If?

Unread post by Cold Bear » January 26th, 2005, 4:10 pm

If you go to a ‘free gym’.

If your mother has a boyfriend with neck tattoos.

If you buy Blooper T’s’ (T-Shirts that cost less cause they got faults).

If you got a friend named ‘Boo-Boo’.

If when you go out to dinner, you order it through bullet-proof glass.

If a Zapp song makes you cry.

If you buy bootleg DVD’s for gifts.

If you freak to slow songs.

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Re: You Know Your Ghetto If?

Unread post by Cold Bear » January 26th, 2005, 4:14 pm

You know how to make a knife out of a cigarette butt.

You have a picture of Jesus........ that you plug in.

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Re: You Know Your Ghetto If?

Unread post by Common Sense » January 26th, 2005, 4:21 pm

The Ultimate Ghetto Test
(requires paper and pencil and a little math)

If the statement is true add the points in parenthesis to your score.
Scoring is given at the bottom of the test.

1. You've ever used an album cover or old envelope for a dustpan. (5 points)
2. You've ever put foil on your TV antennas to get better reception. (8 points)
3. You've ever had to use pliers to turn your TV on. (7points)
4. You had to come in the house when the street lights came on. (6 points)
5. You had a candy lady in your neighborhood. (5 + 5 extra points if your house was the candy lady)
6. If you can count more than five police cars in your neighborhood on a daily basis. (3 points)
7. If you ever had to pick your own switch or belt. (3 points for each)
8. If you've ever been beaten with an extension cord. (15 points)
9. If you have ever had to walk to or home from school. (2 points)
10. If you've ever passed someone a note asking "Do you like me?" or "Can I have a chance?" check _yes, _no or _maybe. (7 points)
11. If you have ever used dish washing liquid for bubble bath. (9points)
12. If you have ever mixed up some Kool-Aid and the found that you didn't have any sugar. (4 points & add 4 if you put the pitcher in the refrigerator until you got some sugar)
13. If you have ever played any of the following games. (2 points each): (hide and go seek, freeze tag, captain or momma may I?, or red light..yellow light..green light 123!)
14. If your neighborhood had an ice cream man. (2 points + 2 if he rang a bell + 5 if he played R&B)
15. If you remember any of the following candies. (1 point each): cherry clans, lemon heads, Alexander the grape, ring pops, Chico sticks, baked beans, candy cigarettes, powder packs with the white dip stick, big league chew, "Wine" Candy (jolly ranchers), jaw breakers, and candy necklaces.
16. If you refer to Now and Laters candies as "Nighladers". (6 points)
17. If you've ever ran from the police on foot. (5 points + 5 if you got away)
18. If you remember underoos or the Wonder Woman bra and panty set. (6 points + 4 if you owned some)
19. If you've ever had reusable grease in a container on your stove. (5 points)
20. The batteries in your remote control are held in by a piece of tape. (5 points)
21. If you've ever used any of the following for drinking glasses. (3 points each): jelly jars, mayonnaise jars, mason jars, or peanut butter jars.
22. You've ever covered your furniture in plastic. (2 points)
23. The heels of your feet have ever looked like you had been kicking flour. (1point)
24. If you have ever worn any of the following fragrances. (1 point each): Brute, Hai Karate, Jean Nate, Old Spice, Chloe, English Leather, Stetson, Charlie, or Faberge'.
25. You've ever used Tussy. (9 points)
26. You've never been to the dentist. (10 points + 10 if you've never been to the doctor.)
27. You've ever wore clothes with the tag still on them. (4 points)
28. If you're acquainted with someone with a name as follows. (3 points): Kay-Kay, Lee-Lee, Ree-Ree, Ray-Ray, T-bone etc.
29. You have ever paged yourself for any reason. (3 points)
30. You've ever worn house shoes outside of the house. (2 points)
31. You add "ED" or "T" to the end of words already in the past tense (for example, Tooked, Light-Skinneded, kilt, ruint, etc). (3 points)
32. You pronounce words like this (1 point for each example you can think of skrimps or strimps, skreet, axe (ask), member (remember), frigerator, etc.
33. You use nem' to describe a certain group of people (for example Craig and nem' or momma and nem'). (6 points)
34. You've ever had a crack across your windshield and never bothered to get it fixed. (3 points)
35. You've ever driven on a donut more than 2 weeks after your flat. (4 points)
36. You've ever asked a perfect stranger to take a picture with you and told your friends it was someone you dated. (3 points)
37. Your child drops his/her pacifier and you sanitize it by sucking it. (7 points)
38. If you've ever ran a race barefoot in the middle of the street at approximately 11 at night. (10 points)
39. You wore your daddy drawz before. (1 point)
40. You leave a restaurant with silverware, sugar, and/or jelly. (8 points)
41. You think "red" is a flavor of Kool-Aid. (4 points)
42. You can't hold a glass because of the length of your nails. (3 points)
43. The gold teeth in your mouth spell words. (8 points)
44. You don't have your own place but your child has a leather coat and a pair of Jordan's. (5 points)
45. If you've ever had to get to the driver's side of the car through the passenger side door. (8 points)
46. You have ever slept in a chair to avoid messing up your hair. (7 points)
47. You constantly hit *69 and ask, "Did you just call here?" (10 points)
48. You won't answer the phone if you don't recognize the number on the caller id box. (7 points)
49. You roll in a phat car, but live with yo momma. (15 points)
50. You live with your baby's momma and her momma. (20 points)

Scoring
0 - 30 - You have enjoyed a nice sheltered life in the burbs.
31 - 60 - Ghetto movies have given you a little exposure. 1 hood friend
61 - 100 - You may have visited the hood a few times or got jacked.
101 - 130 - Wanna be hard, but you aint. Get on back to the burbs.
131 - 160 - Hood Rat in training. You are no stranger to the life.
161 - 200 - You are definitely, without a doubt a Hood Rat and a Ghetto Star. You've been shot at...at least once.
201+ - Congratulations! You are Ghetto Fabulous! Time for a record deal.

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Re: You Know Your Ghetto If?

Unread post by jae » January 26th, 2005, 10:23 pm

lol, awe man, y'all bringin' back some good memories man,lol...for real!

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Re: You Know Your Ghetto If?

Unread post by Cold Bear » February 3rd, 2005, 8:13 am

I found this on the web:



You know you are Mexican if:
You have ever been hit by a chancla.

You can play any sport wearing your chanclas.

You grew up scared by something called "El Cucuy."

Others tell you to stop screaming when you are really just talking.

You light a candle on the night of the Lotto drawing.

You use your lips to point something out.

You constantly refer to cereal as "con fleis".

Your mother yells at the top of her lungs to call you to dinner even if it's a one bedroom apartment.

You can dance ranchera, cumbia or salsa without music.

You use "manteca" (lard) instead of olive oil and can't figure out why your butt is getting bigger.

You call your sneakers "tenees".

You have at least thirty cousins.

You can't imagine anyone not liking spicy food.

You are in a 5-passenger car with 7 people in it and a person shouting "subanse, todavia caben".

Whenever you feel under the weather, you compulsively dab on some "Vics" vapor rub all over your chest and inside your nostrils.

Your mom packs your "lonchera" everyday.

You or someone you know uses "Tres Flores" in their hair.


Tamales, champurrado, posole and menudo are must haves on Thanksgiving.

There is more Tequila than punch at little Juanito's birthday party.

There is at least one member in your family named Maria, Guadalupe, Juan, Jose, or Jesus.

Everyone still thinks Cesar Chavez is the best boxer even if he lost against Oscar De La Hoya.

You've gone to Las Pulgas every weekend for years.

You step into a house that has all those little figurines taking up every inch of space on/under the TV.

You have a porcelain cat, dog, Buddha, or elephant in your living room.

You have plastic slipcovers on your sofas.

You swear "Choco Mil" is the same as Slim Fast and try to lose weight by drinking it.

You have a drunk uncle/aunt.

You're still afraid to open that umbrella in your house.

You not only know who Don Francisco from Sabado Gigante is, but you tell people he's your tio.

Your mother, tia or hermana's hair is blackcherry, "Sun in" red or a burgundy that would make Celia Cruz jealous.

You always try to find out what town another fellow Latino's family is from.

You have ever had to "beepiar" a friend on their pager.

You wear your Sunday best to do laundry at the laundrymat and go grocery shopping.

You have told your kid not to walk the floor barefoot or they'll catch a cold.

You go to a wedding or Quinceañera, gossip about how bad the comida is, but be the first to take a plato to go.

You have a bottle of Tapatio in your purse.

Your cousins are delinquents / hootchies.


You have a chola in your barrio named "La Flaca" who's bigger than a house.

You think Cristina trumps Oprah any day.

You have a cousin named "Guero" who's darker than night.

You know a chola named "La Shy Girl" who is loud and obnoxious.

You need to point out how much something you just bought cost.

You go to a white friends house for dinner and don't understand the concept of sitting at a table.

You've tried to bring a mango back to the US from Mexico, and a bonus point if you actually made it all the way home with it.

You have a bottle of Bacardi or Tequila in your house right now.

You drive a "Cheby", an "Ohsmobeel" or a "Bolswahgon"

You're laughing because some of these things have actually happened to YOUR ASS!

You're proud to be Mexican - and you pass these jokes on to all your Mexican friends!

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Re: You Know Your Ghetto If?

Unread post by chini » February 7th, 2005, 8:16 pm

aight coldbear to this I would add

You from the varrio if

... if your pa has brahma bull decals on the sides of his Yugo

... he's got a belt rack for everyday of the week to whip u with

... you are always asking for salsita to put on your food at a white restaurant

... you call every kind of cereal "corrflakes"

... someone yells out "hey Comadre" atta party and every girl turns around

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Re: You Know Your Ghetto If?

Unread post by North Face » February 19th, 2005, 9:57 am

THIS IS GHETTO WHEN YOUR WINDSHEILD WIPERS DONT WORK AND YOU STOP TO DO IT MANUALLY.

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Re: You Know Your Ghetto If?

Unread post by wizdom » February 20th, 2005, 7:41 pm

Lol, goin outta state for kommunity kollege thing. i was bout to do that

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Re: You Know Your Ghetto If?

Unread post by Common Sense » February 22nd, 2005, 1:41 pm

I saw an Asian drivin' down the street with a hand mirror taped to her broken out left side mirror. Now that's ghetto...hmm on the other hand not a bad idea for an emergency.

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Re: You Know Your Ghetto If?

Unread post by Boricua » March 29th, 2005, 9:31 pm

Common Sense wrote:The Ultimate Ghetto Test
(requires paper and pencil and a little math)

If the statement is true add the points in parenthesis to your score.
Scoring is given at the bottom of the test.

1. You've ever used an album cover or old envelope for a dustpan. (5 points)
2. You've ever put foil on your TV antennas to get better reception. (8 points)
3. You've ever had to use pliers to turn your TV on. (7points)
4. You had to come in the house when the street lights came on. ( 6points)
5. You had a candy lady in your neighborhood. (5 + 5 extra points if your house was the candy lady)
6. If you can count more than five police cars in your neighborhood on a daily basis. (3 points)
7. If you ever had to pick your own switch or belt. (3 points for each)
8. If you've ever been beaten with an extension cord. (15 points)
9. If you have ever had to walk to or home from school. (2 points)
10. If you've ever passed someone a note asking "Do you like me?" or "Can I have a chance?" check _yes, _no or _maybe. (7 points)
11. If you have ever used dish washing liquid for bubble bath. (9points)
12. If you have ever mixed up some Kool-Aid and the found that you didn't have any sugar. (4 points & add 4 if you put the pitcher in the refrigerator until you got some sugar)
13. If you have ever played any of the following games. (2 points each): (hide and go seek, freeze tag, captain or momma may I?, or red light..yellow light..green light 123!)
14. If your neighborhood had an ice cream man. (2 points + 2 if he rang a bell + 5 if he played R&B)
15. If you remember any of the following candies. (1 point each): cherry clans, lemon heads, Alexander the grape, ring pops, Chico sticks, baked beans, candy cigarettes, powder packs with the white dip stick, big league chew, "Wine" Candy (jolly ranchers), jaw breakers, and candy necklaces.
16. If you refer to Now and Laters candies as "Nighladers". (6 points)
17. If you've ever ran from the police on foot. (5 points + 5 if you got away)
18. If you remember underoos or the Wonder Woman bra and panty set. (6 points + 4 if you owned some)
19. If you've ever had reusable grease in a container on your stove. (5 points)
20. The batteries in your remote control are held in by a piece of tape. (5 points)
21. If you've ever used any of the following for drinking glasses. (3 points each): jelly jars, mayonnaise jars, mason jars, or peanut butter jars.
22. You've ever covered your furniture in plastic. (2 points)
23. The heels of your feet have ever looked like you had been kicking flour. (1point)
24. If you have ever worn any of the following fragrances. (1 point each): Brute, Hai Karate, Jean Nate, Old Spice, Chloe, English Leather, Stetson, Charlie, or Faberge'.
25. You've ever used Tussy. (9 points)
26. You've never been to the dentist. (10 points + 10 if you've never been to the doctor.)
27. You've ever wore clothes with the tag still on them. (4 points)
28. If you're acquainted with someone with a name as follows. (3 points): Kay-Kay, Lee-Lee, Ree-Ree, Ray-Ray, T-bone etc.
29. You have ever paged yourself for any reason. (3 points)
30. You've ever worn house shoes outside of the house. (2 points)
31. You add "ED" or "T" to the end of words already in the past tense (for example, Tooked, Light-Skinneded, kilt, ruint, etc). (3 points)
32. You pronounce words like this (1 point for each example you can think of skrimps or strimps, skreet, axe (ask), member (remember), frigerator, etc.
33. You use nem' to describe a certain group of people (for example Craig and nem' or momma and nem'). (6 points)
34. You've ever had a crack across your windshield and never bothered to get it fixed. (3 points)
35. You've ever driven on a donut more than 2 weeks after your flat. (4 points)
36. You've ever asked a perfect stranger to take a picture with you and told your friends it was someone you dated. (3 points)
37. Your child drops his/her pacifier and you sanitize it by sucking it. (7 points)
38. If you've ever ran a race barefoot in the middle of the street at approximately 11 at night. (10 points)
39. You wore your daddy drawz before. (1 point)
40. You leave a restaurant with silverware, sugar, and/or jelly. (8 points)
41. You think "red" is a flavor of Kool-Aid. (4 points)
42. You can't hold a glass because of the length of your nails. (3 points)
43. The gold teeth in your mouth spell words. (8 points)
44. You don't have your own place but your child has a leather coat and a pair of Jordan's. (5 points)
45. If you've ever had to get to the driver's side of the car through the passenger side door. (8 points)
46. You have ever slept in a chair to avoid messing up your hair. (7 points)
47. You constantly hit *69 and ask, "Did you just call here?" (10 points)
48. You won't answer the phone if you don't recognize the number on the caller id box. (7 points)
49. You roll in a phat car, but live with yo momma. (15 points)
50. You live with your baby's momma and her momma. (20 points)

Scoring
0 - 30 - You have enjoyed a nice sheltered life in the burbs.
31 - 60 - Ghetto movies have given you a little exposure. 1 hood friend
61 - 100 - You may have visited the hood a few times or got jacked.
101 - 130 - Wanna be hard, but you aint. Get on back to the burbs.
131 - 160 - Hood Rat in training. You are no stranger to the life.
161 - 200 - You are definitely, without a doubt a Hood Rat and a Ghetto Star. You've been shot at...at least once.
201+ - Congratulations! You are Ghetto Fabulous! Time for a record deal.



180...childhood memories ;)

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Re: You Know Your Ghetto If?

Unread post by NW10 » March 30th, 2005, 9:48 am

Did your Ghetto test. Didnt think id get a high mark cos i grew up in England, but theres quite a few similar things. I scored 161, dunno about the states but in england your also ghetto if:

you walk round your neighbourhood in your robe and slippers

you exchange your milk tokens for cigarettes and beer at the corner shop

you wear your socks pulled over your trousers and up to your knees

you wear kappa tracksuits, sovereign rings and gold chains

you have 3 kids and a council house by the time your 13

you start a fight with anyone who looks at you funny

you go for a romantic dinner at a fast food joint

you eat cheap alternatives (spam instead of ham, rola cola instead of coca cola etc..)

youve asked for money for a cigarette, or offered to buy a cigarette

youve taken your own drinks into a bar or club

you wear reebok classic trainers and nike air max

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Re: You Know Your Ghetto If?

Unread post by Tyrant » March 30th, 2005, 9:09 pm

you eat them instant noodles without cooking them

you piss in the corner of the garage

you have to watch tv through a black and white one

you walk instead of drive so you can do your gangster walk

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Re: You Know Your Ghetto If?

Unread post by NW10 » March 31st, 2005, 3:25 pm

Your ghetto if your mother used to make you beefburgers with sliced bread instead of bread buns (your even more ghetto if she pulled of the extra bread to make it match the shape of the burger) lmao

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Re: You Know Your Ghetto If?

Unread post by North Face » April 1st, 2005, 1:26 pm

Baby-Girl16 wrote:IF U EVER USED A SHOE TO HAMMER IN A NAIL


nice 1 but pretty stupid come to think of it

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Re: You Know Your Ghetto If?

Unread post by cbi562 » April 1st, 2005, 11:51 pm

North Face wrote:
Baby-Girl16 wrote:IF U EVER USED A SHOE TO HAMMER IN A NAIL


nice 1 but pretty stupid come to think of it


Here we go again. How is it stupid man? Most male dress shoes have that high block in the back about 1 inches thick. You pick up the shoe and hammer the nail in with the heavy ass heel part. That is where the phrase came from. That is not ghetto - that is just lazy.

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Re: You Know Your Ghetto If?

Unread post by Dr Funky » April 6th, 2005, 7:13 pm

You have to open the oven and turn it all the way up to heat the house.
(Did It)

You have to boil water on the stove for bath water (did it)

You have to pour Anti-freeze in your car engine every morning so that it will drive. (Did it)

You have to use a screwdriver to open and close your car door. (Did it)

Dinner is Hot Dogs and Mac and Cheese (Numerous times)

When your driving down the street you have to play ("Dodge the 40's)
(Thank god my tire didn't pop!)

When you go to the liqour store you buy a single cigarette for 10 cents.
(My friend smokes)

When you have to use a push-mower to cut the grass. (Rusted up)

When you look out the window and there's 5 patrol cars checking the neighborhood with spolights. (Shots fired)

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Dr Funky
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Re: You Know Your Ghetto If?

Unread post by Dr Funky » April 7th, 2005, 1:41 pm

You've got the 86 Caprice with the bumper dragging down the street, no muffler, and you've got those 2 speakers in the back window with the wire coming out the back for a little extra bass.

You've got 3 or 5 pairs of sneakers hanging on the telephone wire in front of your house.

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Re: You Know Your Ghetto If?

Unread post by Dr Funky » April 7th, 2005, 6:03 pm

Oh Yeah and if you've got that one big ass wooden spoon and that one big wooden fork hanging on the wall.

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Re: You Know Your Ghetto If?

Unread post by Dr Funky » April 8th, 2005, 5:26 pm

If you spend 20 minutes in the line at the store because the lady in front can't figure out how to use the Benefit card.

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Re: You Know Your Ghetto If?

Unread post by ur_babys_step_mom » April 25th, 2005, 6:43 pm

we squeezed 7 or 8 ppl in our civic to go take family pix at walmart...and then we only got 2 diff pix cuz my mamas homegirl had the hook up and could make copies for us at her work....she makes my party fliers too

we all got sum ghetto in us

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Re: You Know Your Ghetto If?

Unread post by Dr Funky » April 25th, 2005, 8:33 pm

Common Sense wrote:You think putting batteries in the refrigerator recharges them.


But I could have sworn that worked!

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