You Know Your Ghetto If?

[Common Sense]

Some Of These Are Actually Funny.


You Know Your Ghetto if:

You moved out of state to go to community college.-

Your grandmother is 36 and she is always saying, "I ain't keepin' that baby I'm going out tonight!"


You're mama is so stupid she sold her car for gas -

You go to pick up your welfare check and your grandma asks if you can get hers, too

You have ever washed paper plates -


You ever took the batteries out of your smoke detector to put them in your pager -

You have three Q's in your first name


You have gotten beaten with an iron coat hanger -


If you run out of hair gel you use vasoline instead -


You use up your paycheck to get your hair and nails done and borrow money to get your baby some milk. -

You put your dirty clothes in a baby stroller to walk down to the laundromat.

[BABYBRAZE]

lol i like the smoke detektor 1 n the vasoline 1

[MICK]

if you walk your kid to school because your in the same grade.

[J-DUB]

LOL

[MICK]

^^^ u like that one J-DUB? LOL

[J-DUB]

^^^ LOL YUP

[MICK]

LOL

if your wife's hairdo has ever been ruined by a ceiling fan.

[J-DUB]

MARG SIMPSON LOL

[MICK]

if your only condiment on the dining room table is the sample size bottle of ketchup.

if more than one living relative is named after a James Brown song.

if the most commonly heard phrase at your family reunion is "What the hell are you looking at, Sh*thead?"

You have spray painted your girlfriend's name on an overpass.

Jack Daniel's makes your list of "most admired people

You consider your license plate personalized because your dad made it in prison

You have been fired from a construction job because of your appearance.

[J-DUB]

if your only condiment on the dining room table is the sample size bottle of ketchup.

if more than one living relative is named after a James Brown song.

if the most commonly heard phrase at your family reunion is "What the hell are you looking at, Sh*thead?"

You have spray painted your girlfriend's name on an overpass.

Jack Daniel's makes your list of "most admired people

You consider your license plate personalized because your dad made it in prison


LOL I LIKE THE LAST 1
You have been fired from a construction job because of your appearance.

[Common Sense]

YOU KNOW YOUR GHETTO IF:

You wear your shower cap everywhere but in the shower.

You clean your teeth with a matchbox.

You eat cough drops like candy.

You dry clean your washable clothing (Jeans, T shirt, Baseball Jersey)

You weigh 300lbs, but you claim you can't eat everybody's cooking.

You refer to your refridgerator as an icebox.

You clean your ears with an ink pen cap.

You smell something rotton in your refridgerator, but you only change the arm & hammer box.

You think Shrimps is called Skrimps or Strimps.

[Common Sense]

You put sugar on your frosted flakes.



Your kids were in your wedding.



You call your mama by her first name.



You iron dirty clothes.



You've been a guest on Ricky Lake, or Jerry Springer.



You have a wife and kids but still live at home with your momma.



You don't pay your rent until you get the three-day notice.




You buy clothes for a party and return them to the store the next day.



You only go to church on Easter and Mother's Day or to meet a man (or woman).



Your first name begins with TA', La', or Sha'.



Your bank is a check-cashing place.



You have to put stuff on layway at the 99-cent store.



You think putting batteries in the refrigerator recharges them.



You take bubble baths with diswashing liquid.



The only dates marked on the calendar are the 1st and the 15th.



Your mama whipped you and your friends.



You keep food stamps in a money clip.



You wear tube socks with dress shoes.



You add water to shampoo to stretch it.



You put your kids to sleep with NyQuil or Dimetapp.



You use your welfare check as collateral.



You bought your rims before you bought your car.



Your fingernails are longer than your fingers.



You think jury duty is a good way to make money.



You think going on a diet means no candy.



You use a clothes hanger as a TV antenna.

[BABYBRAZE]

lmao

[Michelle]

You buy clothes for a party and return them to the store the next day.

LOL I used to do that....when I was 16, not really with clothes I used to do it with boots.

'Woah Michelle, you must have at least a 100 pairs of boots'. But once I fell into a puddle on the way back home, i was drunk, i tried to wash them off but the stain wouldn't budge. I went back the next day and they wouldn't take it back

[J-DUB]

LOL

[Common Sense]

I'm sure we've all done somethin' on the list.....LOL.

I'm waiting for others to post even funnier one's ....I need a good laugh.

[bonqutta]

ya kno yur @ a ghetto azz funeral- wen the kasket gotta gangsta leen!!!

[CHRIS]

lol i like the smoke detektor 1 n the vasoline 1

I WAS ALWAYS ON MY SMOKE DETECTORS WHEN MY TOY BATTERIES RAN OUT. THATS WHY I ALMOST KILLED EVERYONE WHEN THE SMOKE DETECTOR'S DIDNT GO OFF!!!
JUST A QUESTION....
HOW MANY OF YALL STILL USE COCOA BUTTER? LMAO
WHEN I WAS YOUNGER, WE HAD TO USE THE SHAMPOO TO WASH THE DISHES WHEN MOM'S AND POP'S DIDNT GET NO SOAP, LOL
THE LIST GOES ON

[shaky]

LOL

[MICK]

COMMON SENSE WROTE "If your mama whipped you and your friends."
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hey, bro. My Mom used to do that sh*t. LOL

[Common Sense]

You know your ghetto if:

You nailed a cut off shoe skate to a flat piece of wood....tryin' to make a skate board.


Popular in the 70's

[Lonewolf]

If you have to use carnation canned milk on your corn flakes.

If you have to use old tortillas and mustard for you hot dogs instead of buns and mayo.

If you take a dufflebag to school instead of a backpack.

[CHRIS]

YOU KNOW YOUR BLAC WHEN:

YOUR SCARED WHEN THE GHETTO BIRD COMES AROUND EVEN IF YOU DIDNT DO SHITT

YOU WEAR POP'S T-SHIRTS

YOUR MOM'S TOLD YOU TO ASK THE NEIGHBOR TO USE HIS PHONE

ALL THE STORE CAMERA'S TURN YOUR WAY WHEN YOU WALK IN

THE DOOR CHIME IN A SHOP SAYS "NIIG- GAA"

EVRYONE ON THE BLOC FLIPPED THE SAME GIRL

EVERYONE ONE THE BLOC SAW YOU GET A WHOOPIN

YOU THREATEN YOUR TEACHER

YOU WEAR A SHORT SKIRT AND A SPAGETTI STRAP AT AGE 2

[Lonewolf]

If you buy cigarettes from the jar.

If you carry your own refill to a bar night club.

[CHRIS]

YOU USE CALLING CARDS TO CALL MOM AND POPS EVEN THOUGHT YOU IN THE SAME CITY

[Common Sense]

YOU USE CALLING CARDS TO CALL MOM AND POPS EVEN THOUGHT YOU IN THE SAME CITY

LOOOOLL

[Kemosave]

Haha.. good one Chris.

[ElGuero]

If you have to use old tortillas and mustard for you hot dogs instead of buns and mayo.

YOU WEAR POP'S T-SHIRTS

YOUR MOM'S TOLD YOU TO ASK THE NEIGHBOR TO USE HIS PHONE

ALL THE STORE CAMERA'S TURN YOUR WAY WHEN YOU WALK IN
You have spray painted your girlfriend's name on an overpass.


YOU THREATEN YOUR TEACHER

If you carry your own refill to a bar night club

You eat cough drops like candy.

You only go to church on Easter and Mother's Day or to meet a man (or woman). ...plus Christmas.
You add water to shampoo to stretch it.

Ha ha, these bring back memories........

[MICK]

If you have to use carnation canned milk on your corn flakes.

HEY WOLF, I DO THAT! LMAO. .... no seriously. I do.

[J-Gro]

You have ever washed paper plates(done that quite a few times)

You eat cough drops like candy(haha, done that too..when my friend had some cough drops in his room and there was no other candy there so i just ate those, didn't have a cough or anything either)

You clean your ears with an ink pen cap(done that, also cleaned it with rolled up pieces of toiler paper when i ran out of q-tips, lol)

You think putting batteries in the refrigerator recharges them(yeah, i put batteries in the fridge sometimes, i think it actually works though)

You add water to shampoo to stretch it(i do that with shampoo, conditioner, liquid soap..etc)

You nailed a cut off shoe skate to a flat piece of wood....tryin' to make a skate board(didn't do that myself, but i stole one of those things before..i was a little kid and really wanted a skateboard and i saw these kids making skateboards with a board and wheels so i just took it when they weren't looking..i wasn't normally a stealing type of kid but i guess i really wanted it, heh)

YOU KNOW YOUR BLAC WHEN:(i'm not black, but i still do 2 below off that list)

YOUR SCARED WHEN THE GHETTO BIRD COMES AROUND EVEN IF YOU DIDNT DO SHITT(i do that with cops in general, because the cops in my neighborhood will stop you and write you up just because you're "suspicious"..they called me suspicious before just cuz i was wearing a black coat..they're pretty stupid)

YOU WEAR POP'S T-SHIRTS(i do that sometimes but not just his t-shirts, also sweatshirts and shorts and sweatpants and stuff)

YOU USE CALLING CARDS TO CALL MOM AND POPS EVEN THOUGHT YOU IN THE SAME CITY(my friend's phone was messed up and when i was over his house we had to use calling cards to call everyone, even people that lived like right near us..those card things are annoying)



oh and here's a few new ones(not ones that i do, just some ones me and my friends made up)

you know you're ghetto if..

your jacket doubles as your blanket

you use your sink for laundry and hang your clothes above a stove

your way of bathing is wiping your entire body off with baby wipes

your old microwave is your only source of heat

[BlazEn]

You know you're ghetto if you put your food stamps in your money clip...

[gent11236]

You think putting batteries in the refrigerator recharges them

I used to stay doing that shit.


Also

You know you ghetto:

When you jump in a fight and don't even know who is fighting.

When you pee in the shower while taking a bath.

When you cut your jeans in the summer so you can have shorts.