If You Had To Do It All Over Again?

This is the forum for those who believe that there are other options to gangs and violence and hope to see young people make better choices about their future. Where does change begin?

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If You Had To Do It All Over Again?

Unread post by Common Sense » February 14th, 2004, 6:45 pm

If You Had To Do It All Over Again, knowing what you know now, What would you do different the second time around

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Re: If You Had To Do It All Over Again?

Unread post by Monkeywrench » February 15th, 2004, 1:58 am

Common Sense wrote:If You Had To Do It All Over Again, knowing what you know now, What would you do different the second time around
yEA...............Sure

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Re: If You Had To Do It All Over Again?

Unread post by stateraised2000 » February 15th, 2004, 5:09 am

to tell you the truth, if i knew what i know now i would still have been in this lifestyle but i would have changed many things that i've done...

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Re: If You Had To Do It All Over Again?

Unread post by Tatta » February 15th, 2004, 9:49 am

I always ask myself that question. I would have to say that I probably wouldn't have done anything different. I don't regret my life because of the lessons I have learned. I have seen and done thangs that will now allow me to teach my children and prevent them from making like mistakes.

If I didn't have children that can benefit from the errors in my ways then my answer would be different all together...I would have been the neighborhood nerd soaking up all the education I could.

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Re: If You Had To Do It All Over Again?

Unread post by Common Sense » February 15th, 2004, 12:17 pm

To Stateraised: Do you think someone who stays up on knowledge and current trends make a better gangster of tomorrow or someone in the lifestyle? Example being the new york mafia's not only taking it to the street, but also being involved with business and politics.

Do you think the common street 'G' is even capable?


To Tatta:
How would you help your children today, especially with so much influence out there?


Sometimes kids hear: Do what I say, not as I do or have done and still get out there.

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Re: If You Had To Do It All Over Again?

Unread post by stateraised2000 » February 15th, 2004, 1:28 pm

[quote="Common Sense"]To Stateraised: Do you think someone who stays up on knowledge and current trends make a better gangster of tomorrow or someone in the lifestyle? Example being the new york mafia's not only taking it to the street, but also being involved with business and politics.

Do you think the common street 'G' is even capable?


I think it doesnt hurt to be read up and knowledegable on things. anyone can be a big ol dummy and dump on someone in broad daylight. but FOR MOST OF US this gangbanging WILL come to a halt someday and then what? alot of us will still have the desire to want to pull the younger homies up outta the mud and help them to NOT go thru what we have been thru. if you dont have any kind of education on anything it's harder, im not saying it cant be done but its harder.

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Re: If You Had To Do It All Over Again?

Unread post by Tatta » February 15th, 2004, 3:08 pm

I am real upfront with my children. The mistakes that I have made have affected their own lives in tragic ways. For the sake of hopefully telling my story and having someone that can learn from it by reading I will be candid in my answer.

I was not around for the first 5 years of my oldest sons life. I was locked up. His momma was not cooperative and opted not to allow contact with my boy. I came home and fought for my son. He took to me the day I came home as if I had been there all along. He put his faith in me. He made me promise to never leave again. I promised. I let him down. I fel victim to the cycle of gang life. I allowed ignorance to break my promise. I went back to jail. I lied to my boy.
Due to my ignorance and gang related activity my sister, my son's auntie and dear friend, was killed. He suffered yet again at my hands. I promised again to make it all right. I flipped out and went on a revenge spree...once again I broke my promise.
My youngest was born. I vowed to make it right for him. His mother abandoned him and there was nothing I could do legally to get custody because of my situation and past. Last year my youngest was taken into foster care. Suffering seperation because of my past and my ignorance. My oldest was once again let down. Now I had not only taken his dad and auntie...I took his brother away.
I came home and ended up damn near beaten to death, I lived in Long Beach and had some rookie from Long Beach that had been in YA with me and knew of my rep hungry to gain a rep by whoopin my ass. I beat his ass and he returned....4 deep with a 4-way tire iron. I was damn near dead and suffered a great deal of permanent damage. Again, useless to my kids because of my past choices and my ignorance.
When i conquored the "he will never walk or talk again" diagnosis, I realized that my mind was a powerful thang. I woke up and vowed that to be the last straw. No more ignorance and no more let-downs for my kids.
There was a time in my life when I would tell my wife (about my oldest) "if the boy chooses to gang bang then he just does and as long as he does it right and to the best of his ability then I have nothing to say".
How ignorant was that.
Just last week I had a long talk with my oldest (10)...who, by the way is in a L.A. County probationary school (1 step away from y.a) ... he was on a bad path for a minute. He is now on the honor roll and should be eligible for the LA School district again next year. My boy is very bright and very calculated. I am always open and honest about everythang I have ever done. I answered all of his questions and finished the convo with "If I catch you banging...I will take your life myself." I meant it and he understood that by saying that I am willing to do all that I can to make sure he makes the most out of life and the best possible decisions that he can for himself. I will die keeping my boy alive if I have to. I educate him about the good and the bad. I am open and most of all I am there. I communicate and I teach. I now keep my word and intend to continue to do so.
My sons don't care if I am broke, sick, or blind. As long as I am here. If ever I become broke, sick, or blind again...I will still be here. I will not allow myself to enable their demise. I lived through what I lived through for a reason; that reason is to teach my children to not do the same.

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Re: If You Had To Do It All Over Again?

Unread post by Common Sense » February 15th, 2004, 5:38 pm

thank you stateraised for your answer. It may very well be harder for some, but there is somebody out to give up some assistance. Keep pulling the homies up out of the mudd, they need it man. I do appreciate you taking the time out to address my question.


To Tatta: I applaude your efforts to make sure your kids get the supervision, guidance, and support that so many young one people need and most of the time do not get. You were very sincere and honset. Maybe some other folks out there with kids will take your example and do the same.

thank you both.

if anyone else have a story to share on this topic please do.

C.S.

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Re: If You Had To Do It All Over Again?

Unread post by bgcasper » February 15th, 2004, 8:11 pm

TATTA WICH SET THE BITCH ASS NIGGAZ FROM LB WHO BEAT U DOWN WAS FROM ?

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Re: If You Had To Do It All Over Again?

Unread post by Young Nile » February 15th, 2004, 10:02 pm

This is a very easy question If I could do it all over with I would. I would have stayed as far as I could from gangs.

Who knows I could Have been doing some S*** that I really want to do now but cant because of my criminal record.....................


Cant even go to certian places any more with out worrying about bumpin into familiar faces,

Forever attached to my homies................................

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Re: If You Had To Do It All Over Again?

Unread post by stateraised2000 » February 16th, 2004, 12:29 am

K1LLJOY wrote:i wouldnt change what i done but id change the fuckin gang that im in



say killjoy, not dis'ing you brother but just a lil curious. if you so unhappy with your hood why do you still claim it? break that down to me ok...

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Re: If You Had To Do It All Over Again?

Unread post by Young Nile » February 16th, 2004, 1:46 am

K1LLJOY wrote:i wouldnt change what i done but id change the fuckin gang that im in


Cant believe you just said that.

If you gonna rep. a hood it aint about reppin it just because they the shyt at the moment. Every hood (or most) has there ups and downs alot of hoodz fall off then come back up. But if you real about yours you gone stay down regardless. Thats what make a true real soldier some one who stays down and reps to fullest. Even if people say "I aint never heard of yall" or "Where yall at" or "Yall gettin served" its a commitment. I could see if you said I would change the whole gang life the completely understandable.
Everybody know about Pacomia Piru. Yall got a harder rep than some of these hoodz out here in LA.

If you were my lil homie the homies would boot you off the hood for that statement........................

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Re: If You Had To Do It All Over Again?

Unread post by Y.G. » February 16th, 2004, 2:47 am

TO RESPONSE TO TATTA IM GLAD YOU ARE APART OF YOUR BOYS LIFE BECAUSE IF MY DAD WASN'T AROUND MAN I DON'T KNOW HOW I WOULD MAKE BECAUSE AT LEAST I HAVE ONE PERSON I CAN REALLY TRUST AND BELIEVE; SO IM GLAD YOU ARE THERE WITH THEM DOGG.

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Re: If You Had To Do It All Over Again?

Unread post by Common Sense » February 16th, 2004, 5:24 pm

Young Nile:

What would you like to do if given a chance?


Sometimes opportunity comes in another form.

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Re: If You Had To Do It All Over Again?

Unread post by Young Nile » February 16th, 2004, 8:48 pm

Common Sense wrote:Young Nile:

What would you like to do if given a chance?


Sometimes opportunity comes in another form.


Honestly I wish I could work for like the CIA, NSA, DOD or even FBI or just a plain old juvenile probation officer.................

Cant do none of them now................

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Re: If You Had To Do It All Over Again?

Unread post by Common Sense » February 17th, 2004, 2:30 am

One option you could probably do, may take some research, is going back to school and majoring in criminal justice. You could always work for yourself and maybe as a consultant with those agancy you would not ordinarly qualify for.

Sometimes it takes a criminal like mind to deal with certain criminal cases.

There are many self employed people that are not eligible for mainstream employment, but because of their unique talent they sometimes get mainstream contracts.

Just throwing out some ideas.

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Re: If You Had To Do It All Over Again?

Unread post by ElGuero » February 24th, 2004, 7:03 pm

If I could do it over, I don't know........the thing is if the conditions were the same I probably would......but if I could go back knowing what I know now I definitely would do it differently.

I actually had people who I owe my life to, my dad was the main person to get me out of it.....and in high school I had a counselor and an English teacher who wouldn't give up on me......they knew I wasn't stupid but helped me see it as well....they did something for me without which I don't know where I'd be today.....

My homelife was good though......my parents always stressed education, my dad had a great job in Nicaragua but we left coz of the war and well.....his degree was no good here, so eventhough we lived in the barrio, I still had good role models at home.....

I joined for protection.......everyone I knew was in a gang at that point anyways....and once in, I really liked some things......the hos and the money(a lot of it helped my family), it sounds bad but thats what I liked best, and the respect and to have people scared of me.......BUT the thing is once I was in, I did a lot of stuff I wish I could change.....

These days my family doesn't talk about those days.....we ended up OK, during those years in the barrio my dad slowly went to school to get an American degree and finally graduated......took the family out of the barrio.....my sister ended up with a great guy who got her out of there......

It was harder for me though....its not like I could just say "OK, I'm leaving the gang".....but I got out of it.......spent a long 10 years in the lifestyle......by age 21 I had 3 kids and was shot 4 times.... I never really knew any of the kids.....the parents of the girls sent them away to live with relatives, and one didn't want the baby to be in danger so she wouldn't see me afterwards.....the one time she did see me a car full of Crips stopped infront of us and they pointed a gun at us.... I don't blame her......

I spent 7 years out of the barrio.....started a new life....I went back for the first time this year.....most of my homies are dead by now....some got out and have OK jobs.....one, someone I used to look up to, who I wanted to be like.......I saw him passed out infront of his mom's house....

One thing that really let me have peace was talking to some of the veteranos who told me they wish they'd have done what I did....who told me they're proud of me......thats when I really got peace and was able to just leave the past behind......sure, some called me a vendido, sell out...but then look at them today.....

If I could do it over again I'd listen to my parents.....I'd have let my dad be my best friend and would have tried to be more like him......I would have been a "nerd" and proud of it......

Gang life is like war, its nothing to glorify...... in my case, I just feel lucky, I have a second chance at life.....and I'm not taking it for granted....

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Re: If You Had To Do It All Over Again?

Unread post by Common Sense » February 24th, 2004, 10:10 pm

Great Post El Guero MS,

the world is your oyster..........make it happen for you and your kids.

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Re: If You Had To Do It All Over Again?

Unread post by bgcasper » February 24th, 2004, 11:26 pm

IF I COULD GO back WHEN ME AND MY CLOSE HOMIES STARTED I WOULD PROBABLY GO STR8 TO THE POINT CUT ALL THAT SET TRIP BULLSHYT NO TIME FOR THAT USE OUR SOLIDARITY AND CODE OF CONDUCT TO BUILT SOMETHING BIG LIKE THE ITALIAN DID WITH COSA NOSTRA MAKE A GANG OF MONAY AND YA KNOW ....

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Re: If You Had To Do It All Over Again?

Unread post by Common Sense » February 25th, 2004, 9:08 am

Well you know alot of legit businesses started that way. One being, Las Vegas.

Gangsters from the mob saw big dreams and lot's of money. Now look at Las Vegas today. Most of America can't wait to give them their money. Now the Native Americans are getting a piece of that action.


There is always money to be made in America, even in the worst of times.
You just have to think about what services you can offer better than anyone else and be consistent as you try to make it happen. Being an entrepreneur, takes the same dedication and devotion as being a gang member. Your mentality needs to be: I'll do whatever it takes for the business. I am married to the business (it's like my wife/husband). The business is like my child to that needs my undivided attention 24-7 until it's strong enough to walk on it's on. I love working this business, and I'm down with it to the end.

If you can be that passionate about a project or hobby. You are well on your way to being financially secured without puching a clock for somebody else.

That was the mentality of the mob. That is the mentality and heart of the Entrepreneur.

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Re: If You Had To Do It All Over Again?

Unread post by ElGuero » February 25th, 2004, 1:15 pm

bgCASPER wrote:IF I COULD GO back WHEN ME AND MY CLOSE HOMIES STARTED I WOULD PROBABLY GO STR8 TO THE POINT CUT ALL THAT SET TRIP BULLSHYT NO TIME FOR THAT USE OUR SOLIDARITY AND CODE OF CONDUCT TO BUILT SOMETHING BIG LIKE THE ITALIAN DID WITH COSA NOSTRA MAKE A GANG OF MONAY AND YA KNOW ....


If you put it that way......come on, imagine if the Black Panthers would have had the resources of the Crips or MS or 18st......if the Puerto Rican freedom fighters were as united and well organized as the Latin Kings....if the Bloods and Crips became soldiers for the Nation of Islam....

The Italian mafia was mostly about money.....but there is way more to life....the system is afraid of gangs so much because they see the untapped potential for social change......

There are several ways to deal with social ailments......

Tolerate them coz poverty is all you know...
Make money and think the problem is solved....

OR.....

You can attempt to change the system.....break the cycle that keeps people trapped in the mentality of poverty, in the mindset of the oppressed, in the system.....

If I could organize a gang......I wouldn't make it gang, I'd make it an organization that brings the community up instead of down.....that breaks barriers between us instead of builds them up....

Don't be trapped in the money mentality......

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Re: If You Had To Do It All Over Again?

Unread post by wcrockets » February 25th, 2004, 7:20 pm

CommonSense: No doubt. That movie Casino is pretty much an exact retelling of a true story. The History channel aired the real version of that movie and it was blow by blow straight down the line the same.

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Re: If You Had To Do It All Over Again?

Unread post by civil_thor » March 11th, 2004, 2:31 am

Tatta,

Much respect. That stuff about letting your kids down was deep, very real. You're lucky to have that motivation, and they're lucky to have your wisdom to keep them straight.

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Re: If You Had To Do It All Over Again?

Unread post by Noog » March 12th, 2004, 8:22 am

El Guero, Tatta - respect. you are true men. You been through the fire and you are struggling to find the most important of ways. Respect again, you are the voices of hope, the experience that can become knowledge, the knowledge that can change the future, yes man, I hear you. You are both VIP's man, I believe that you are very important, like prophets who dont even know that they are prophets. You God's rough edged soldiers, I'm not talking religeous, but reality. Your voices gave me hope.

I'm unconvinced by the Italian Mafia ting. I mean, so what. they just old school money makaz, they cant represent anything positive for change. But I enjoy the idea of gangs maturing, joining to make up radical social movements for social change. The real war aint on the streets between sets, but with the forces which cause the poverty, keep the poor poor, exclude the yout form access to the things needed to thrive, whho that? Yes man, the US and state Government, always. For me, my inspiration comes from groups like the Zapatistas in Mexico, the former Sandanistas in Nicaragua, the original BlackPanthers....even the modelling of 'Homeboy Industries' in Boyle Heights, East LA....good thread this...

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Re: If You Had To Do It All Over Again?

Unread post by blkjoker » March 12th, 2004, 7:07 pm

I would do the same thang over cause the mistakes i made is what makes me a better man today.

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Re: If You Had To Do It All Over Again?

Unread post by Common Sense » December 10th, 2004, 9:27 am

It's been quite awile since this topic has come up. I would be interested in what other people have to say about this.

Would you do something different...if you could start over?

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Re: If You Had To Do It All Over Again?

Unread post by 1111§ » December 10th, 2004, 10:01 am

I wouldn´t make as much fake promises and lie to my loved ones like I often did in the past 20 yrs. of my life.

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Re: If You Had To Do It All Over Again?

Unread post by Kemosave » December 10th, 2004, 2:35 pm

<--- is 20/20. I'd have stopped using my environment as an excuse (I understand it's not fair but doing that didn't make my life better dig?), put away the mountain of boolshit I was involved in, and stepped up to the plate and swung at the balls of life a lot earlier than I did. I'd probably have two phd's by now for real.

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Re: If You Had To Do It All Over Again?

Unread post by STRAITUPRIDAH » December 12th, 2004, 5:45 am

If I could do it all over again, I would do it but I would be way smarter about it. The things you learn over experience is something that nobody can school you on. The only thing I would change is getting involved with that crystal meth. Seen to many people hurt by it and to many families torn apart because of that drug.

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Re: If You Had To Do It All Over Again?

Unread post by Common Sense » December 12th, 2004, 10:01 am

Crystal meth is highly addictive and a hard to drug to shake.

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Re: If You Had To Do It All Over Again?

Unread post by STRAITUPRIDAH » December 12th, 2004, 4:36 pm

Yeah, it is. Had my hard times with it and aint ashamed to admit it. YOU CLOSET SMOKERS COME OUT (I know there are probably a few of you reading this) LOL.

Put it this way, religion and family help a lot in shaking that addiction. Get married, have some kids, find God and your strait. If that don't work, the twin towers in LA got that mental shit, check your ass in there.

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Re: If You Had To Do It All Over Again?

Unread post by Lonewolf » December 14th, 2004, 6:05 pm

I would do it all over again, but I would be wiser with the ladies FEEL ME :P

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