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How to Find your Miss Right By Alex Alonso for Street Gangs Magazine October 10, 2005 I have consulted with several men and have asked them their advice on dating and women. Many men don't take these matters serious when dating nor do they examine the compatibilty characteristics when seeking a significant other. But the marriage minded man, take these matters more seriously. Here are a few tips that will help you identify red flags that should prevent you from wasting time with the wrong woman. Age of the woman If you meet a women that is at least 35 years old that has never been married and has no children, BEWARE. Hopefully she has been in at least one serious long-term relationship that discussed marriage or has been engaged where SHE has called off the engagement. And when I say engaged, I mean where the man had a ring on her finger. If not, be careful. If you meet this woman, and have big expectations, take your time and get to know her thoroughly over the next 4 to 6 months. She has exhibited a pattern of failed relationships and you need to determine the source of that failure and it is essential be careful before you proceed. She might be a keeper, but proceed with caution. Does she want Children If you are looking for that quality wife and the eventual mother of your children, take point number one very serious. A great age to have that first child, is between 27 – 32 years old, but you need to be involved with her for at least 12 months and preferably 24 months before you take it to that level. Remember that the older and longer it takes to get to motherhood (fatherhood too) the more likely that those much needed parental skills will be more difficlut to acquire. Great parenting is learned from your parents and then by experiencing your own parenting, so the longer you take to get there, the less experience you will acquire. You will be a parent for the rest of your life, so don’t wait till you are 40 or beyond to begin. And remember that having younger brothers, sisters, nieces, nephews, and pets does not equate to parenting skills or experience. How many women have you heard that from? The Professional Career Woman Be careful before you jump into a relationship with a career minded woman. We live in a society where it is common for women to startup successful companies, that go on to graduate school, and work in high level professional positions. I think that this is great and shows the rest of the world how open and free the United States has become when dealing with gender, but this does not necessarily mean that these women are ready for commitment or even have the mental preparedness for motherhood. Additionally, they are not all that family oriented. In academia, within the social sciences, I find the environment to be extremely anti-family. In order to be successful in any of these careers or academic pursuits, you have to consume most of your 20s and early 30s getting grounded in that career, and these are the critical years that foster a strong bond with your partner. These happen to be the same ages that most of us are looking to hook up with our love. In 2000, the average marriage occurred at 26 years old. Remember that many of these women do want to have a relationship, but they have a strong desire in their professional pursuits too. Many of these women will reach their mid 30s longing for that spouse on the inside but telling all the men that they meet and date that they are fine with staying single and never having children. Don’t believe that and don’t waste your time with her. Some of these woman will eventually settle down in their 40s and eventually have children later in life. If you choose this woman, you will be at retirement age when your first kid graduates from high school, and those children will most likely not get a chance to get to know their grandparents. Does She Inhale? Is she a bud head? Or does she smoke cigarettes? I know that a lot of you men like to get high too, so if you are seeking that long term commitment and a family, choosing a women that gets high too is not a good option. Getting high with your spouse will become a ritual and lifestyle, and doing it together will encourage you to do it more often. Yes, it will be fun in the beginning, but remember, you want a wife and family. Keep that recreational activity away from home, and find you a woman that has no desire for that type of behavior. If you get high, don't do it infront of her and never bring that home. And a women that whips out a cigarette will never find the heart of a non-smoking male. If you find a woman that is a former bud head, that is actually a great choice, because it shows she has the inner strength to kick a habit and that will power is a great trait in a woman. It also adds to her moral and ethical character that she shuns away from drug activity and absolutely maintains that smoking weed is not cute and does not partake. You have a keeper. Yes, You Need to Argue Make sure you have had a fair share of arguments before making any long-term commitments. You need to hear how she argues, whether her arguments follow sound reasoning and logic, and if she is respectful when she delivers her points. If she is one that resorts to throwing those cliché one liners or excessive profanities, be happy. Now you know she will never be “the one, ” but give it a few more arguments before you completely dismiss her to the basement. If she cannot control herself when angry and in conflict, this is a personality trait that will NEVER go away. It does not matter if she is a God fearing person, because these woman don’t head God warning, “Be slow to anger.” and remember, you can’t change her. She needs some serious changing and don’t think that you can teach and guide her, or love the person enough to overcome their shortcomings. Will never happen. Education Most smart men have acquired some technical skill, trade, or have even graduated from college. These men, are not intimidated by smart and educated women and will require some sort of skill in their woman that she can bring to the table. Men who have spent considerable time with establishing themselves financially must look for a woman that will compliment their hard work. If she is a college graduate, that's great, but she can also contribute in other ways if she didn't attend college. Because cautious of those women that dropped out of college; find out why. I find that women in the teaching / education field exhibit great relationship qualities, and women in the law / business fields are overly consumed with their work and too disconnected from family and relationship, but ofcourse there are always exceptions. Only a Little White Lie We all lie but not all of us are liars. There is a difference and when you catch your significant other in a lie, how she handles the situation will help you gage her character. There are 3 possible reactions you will hear when a person is caught in a lie. 1) If she denies the lie, then you know right off the bat that she is a liar. Most men know when a woman is lying, because many of her explanations will defy reality. I once had a woman tell me an elaborate story that turned out to be an obvious lie. When a woman does that, her entire story will be peppered with lies. Because LAPD detective Mark Furman lied on the stand, in put into question his entire testimony against O.J. Simpson and led to his acquittal. If a woman blatently lies to you and denies it, you need to acuit this woman and move on. She is no good amd she will continue to do it. She needs a spiritual uplift and until that occurs you need to uplift yourself out of that situation. 2) She admits to the lie, but ends up arguing with you about the lie. When ever a person gets caught in a lie, they are in no position to argue back but they believe that arguing about it is a way to justify their lie and deal with their guilt. These women will get on the defensive very quickly. She should be humble and take her licks while being as apologetic as possible if she really respects you. If she does none of the above, make her a bottom tier female friend. 3) She admits to the lie, and expresses nothing but sorrow for her irresponsible actions. If she does this, give her another chance. Remember that we all lie, and a lie should not end a relationship. We are looking for the way a woman responds after the lie. I once dated a woman that lied to me about something serious, but she was extremely apologetic about the issue, and after I vented for time, there was nothing else for me to complain about. Give her another chance. Love versus Need Don’t ever waste time with a woman that needs you. A woman should be with you because she loves you. If you get caught up in a situation where she becoms needy to you, once that need is satisfied, that person will not want you for anything meaningful. She may continue to be with you, but her eyes will be elsewhere. These woman usually give men points based on how many bills they pay and how many gifts they receive. This is the worst trait to find in a woman and you need to drop her quickly. Serve it Up Believe it or not, but women that don't cook and can't cook are going to have a mighty hard time trying to snag that quality man. Yes, tradition wins here. A smart man is looking at a women's cooking skills to make sure that he is well nourished and that his kids are being taken care with a health conscious chef. If your girl is always in the "drive thru", and does not have "time to cook" then you don't have time for her. If she does not cook for herself consistently, then she will not be cooking for you. McDonalds, Taco Bell, and Burger King will most likely be the norm with this woman and her health and your childrens' health will be in jeopardy. Beware of those women that say they know how to cook but never do it. It's lip service and you need to move on. News Topics | Home | Research | History | Blood Gangs | Crip Gangs | People| Life in a Gang | Gallery | Iraqi Cards | Memorial | Migration | Graffiti | Resume| Injunctions Homicides | Maps | Contact

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